For this project, I wanted to explore where I could find myself within a curatorial practice informed by the autoethnographic tenet that individual lived experiences are important for understanding our wider culture and how history revolves around every one of us. I aimed to build upon the feeling of being othered by hegemonic curatorial and exhibition practices, a compulsion exhumed after reading on Fred Wilson’s ground-breaking exhibition, Mining the Museum (1992).

During the process, the self became “a crucial medium or resistance or counter-discourse that casts doubt on the coherence and power of an exclusive historiography.” For sayang, it felt essential to revel in the ways human emotions guide decision-making, exploring how a person’s material culture is far from mundane. I didn’t want to skimp on sentimentality, instead, I wanted to refer to its validity and its vulnerability.

The word sayang is a Malay/Indonesian term of endearment, expression of yearning, longing, and affection. It directly translates into the word “love.”

It’s a term you hear used often when people refer to their children, grandchildren, and lovers. It reminds me of my heritage, the all-encompassing warmth of family, a romantic acceptance, and the protective shield you place on yourself and your honour.

In a recent discussion with my friend/housemate Iseult, we spoke about the importance of love as a foundation in anti-racist, anti-capitalist, and anti-fascist activism and organising. There is much to be said in how love in self-preservation underlies direct action. Similarly, I see curatorial practices that seek to protect, archive, and represent marginalised identities, such as E-J Scott’s Brighton Museum of Transology, and I ache with love. Scott’s museum emphasises self-curation, displaying and keeping safe every artefact submitted by the community. Being “erased from the walls of museums, to not see yourself on the walls of the museum, is to be rendered historically homeless, is to be told your life’s not worth remembering.”

I curated sayang to form a seven-piece collection, self-archive, visual autoethnography with the desire to express how I’ve felt, experienced, better understood, and despised love. I didn’t initially choose this as the central motif- I had previously gravitated towards the theme of coming of age, a concept I have written extensively on during my undergraduate degree. It changed organically, purely because love just kept materialising. I felt such an immense surge of love and appreciation and gratitude while creating sayang, that it just had to be. Frankly, love is an endless and infinite source- it is a power. Love can be conjured from anyone, anywhere, to whomever. Love is the only eternal truth we all hold, and in the past year and a half, it seems as if it is the only way.

Shaista Sosrowardoyo, September, 2021

Shaista Sosrowardoyo (b. 1999) is a Malaysian-Indonesian MPhil Public History and Cultural Heritage student at Trinity College, Dublin, with a background in Anthropology. Their main research interests include the power of contemporary art to inform public historical understanding, the queering of visual culture, archiving, and curatorial practice, the decolonisation of art spaces, and the uses of non-conventional creative and interdisciplinary methods to engage wider audiences within the cultural sector. They are also undertaking ongoing video and photographic projects, exploring the importance of self-archiving and recording. In 2021, Shaista held the position of research intern at the Douglas Hyde Gallery, working closely with the Taking Part Project, researching non-visitors to galleries and other cultural sites. They aim to apply their public history background and rigorous ethnographic training to embark on a career in curation and cultural production that serves marginalised and underrepresented communities and audiences.